I Got Nothin'

I've had all sorts of grand plans for the blog for the past few months; they just haven't come to fruition.

I had a pre-pregnancy bucket list going that focused mostly on food (the new champs bar at The Graves, taking Zach to the Rookery and not having to ask about all sorts of dietary restrictions, cocktails at LBV...) but then I got pregnant and well, that put an end to that before it even started.

I went to San Francisco and ate all sorts of good things (obviously did not get to drink), but the first trimester had me feeling like I was going to puke every time we got out of a cab. So, most of the food I ate on that trip no longer sounded good after I got back (nor did the cookbooks I picked out on that trip from the cookbook store I dreamed about visiting for so long). So, that blog post didn't happen.

Then I just got so tired. And took 2 hour naps every afternoon when Lola did. And did pretty much no housework or cooking, let alone blogging.

Then, around 12 wks pregnant, I took an early glucose test because my fasting glucose number was 2 points higher than normal last summer (and I proactively / stupidly told me OB about it). Failed the 1 hour test by a marginal amount and had to go on to the 3 hour test. By that point, I was sure that I was doomed. When I went in for my 3 hour test, they took my fasting glucose again, and again I was 2 points over what I supposed to be at (at a lower threshold than last summer though b/c of pregnancy). But I passed the 3 blood draws after drinking the glucola and officially passed my test.

I was pretty freaking excited and ate a lot of things I shouldn't have that weekend. It's actually too embarrassing to type out.

But it's good I did it. Because the next Monday, my OB came across my results, and decided she didn't like that my fasting number was 2 points too high. SO, off I went to a diabetes educator even though I didn't have gestational diabetes.

I was pretty sure my diet was going to suck. As I would soon learn, glucose levels are not only dictated by sugar (which I had assumed) but by all carbs. And a lot of things that don't sound carb-y, are in fact carbs. Like FRUIT. When I thought I was going to have to limit my fruit intake drastically, I started to get really sad. And confused. Isn't fruit good for me and my baby?

But I went to my appointment, learned how to prick my finger 4 times a day to test my levels (happily learned I could do so without passing out), learned how to monitor my pee every am for keytones, and was sent home with a gestational diabetes diet even though...I didn't have gestational diabetes.

I adhered to the diet for the first couple of weeks. I ate a ton of protein as instructed with just about every meal and snack. I ate a lot of peanut butter. Because you can't eat cheese and meat all day, right? Because won't that give me high cholesterol?

I ate my bedtime snacks which was a new thing for me. I'm not hungry at night. And um, I thought eating after dinner was bad. But, I was instructed to eat 2 carbs and 1 protein for each bedtime snack. So, like a piece of whole wheat toast with peanut butter (again) and a 1/2 banana. Some nights I was choking down that snack. Other nights, I ended up delighted with my creations. I actually got to have full-fat ice cream a few nights because my diabetes educator told me that was actually a good snack for regulating overnight blood sugars. While that delighted me and while I certainly tried it out, I knew in my heart that wasn't the best bedtime snack.

I watched my post-meal blood sugars stay way under the limits consistently. I started pushing the limits on what I could eat beyond what I was told and still stayed way under the limits. (My fasting glucose still gets close to the limit occasionally, but has stayed where it needs to.)

I started to get a false sense of security about what I could eat. I started to think that as long as my glucose levels were in check that I could eat whatever I wanted.

Then I got weighed earlier this week and found out I had gained 5 lbs in 4 wks (1 lb more than I should have). I blamed my gestational diabetes diet and those freaking bedtime snacks. Even though I've had my fair share of birthday cakes, birthday donuts, Mother's Day treats, and all sorts of other good things too. :)

So, where does this leave me?

Just kind of weary. I'm sick of thinking about what I'm eating so much. I'm sick of worrying about the ramifications of not thinking about it. I'm trying to figure out if I actually have a glucose issue or if this was a very super precautionary thing (b/c my OB, while I LOVE her, is...super precautionary).

So, for now, I'm planning on trying to just be reasonable. How's that for original?

And I have grand plans of going back to my serious running / working out days from way back when after this baby is here (which of course sounds like a great plan for now, when I can't do anything about it). Also super original of me, right?

But enough of the pity party.

I'm having a baby! A BOY baby! A seemingly healthy boy baby! When I'm not complaining about my current food situation, I'm slowly trying to figure out the world of boys: ordering lots of blue and grey striped duds, looking for prints for our nursery to replace the girly ones, asking myself if the turquoise mirror in there is boy enough, thinking about how we're going to have to seriously baby-proof in case this next one is more mischievous than our first one. Also top of mind right now is figuring out how we keep Lola from telling everyone the baby's name (since she knows it and can say it well). :) Things like that.

My food life is a little dicey right now.

But the rest of my life? Awesome!